Nighthawk

This is the motorcycle that I will hopefully be riding by the end of the week. I'm crossing my fingers (and the nub with a regular finger) that my parents won't find out until I have it. The deal is (with Rachel, my wife), that I cannot take other people and I cannot ride on the highway. I think that that is very fair.

So, the blog... It is hard to blog. My laptop is the only computer at my disposal which will allow me to blog. But, it is fun; even when some of your friends use it to flirt with each other electronically.

So, why a motorcycle? The ad on the Honda Web-site says something like, "This is rel freedom and adventure..." or something like that... "real life". I've taken some counseling classes, I read everything John Eldredge writes; one would think I wouldn't be a sucker for the ad. I am. I want to feel the way I feel riding a motorcycle (Iahve ridden one before... in fact, wrecked one right before my wedding!) ; even if it is just on the way to work once or twice a week. I want to 'feel' Wild at Heart, not just 'be'... Whatever that means...

My wife is pregnant, and so I certainly wonder whether I am attempting to compensate for the loss of my youth. I don't think so. All I am, is excited about the baby, and I do not feel that my life philosophy should change. I know I know I know... All people with children will tell me that my life will change, forever, more than I could imagine (insert big sigh for emphasis)... All I mean is, I hope I'm living the right way regardless of whether or not we have a child. I don't see buying or not buying a motorcycle as a good or bad decision based upon those things.

My car broker likes to talk about 'emotional decisions' that people make when they don't buy what he would consider a reliable automobile. Yet, he is freely willing to admit that he feels emotional every time he gets to drive a Subaru WRX-STI. I think John Piper, Jonathan Edwards, Pascal, etc. would contend that that is why we do things anyway. Even if we are buying the most reliable car on the planet (like the one I recently bought my wife), isn't that still an emotional decision? Whether it is logical, smart, frugal, and or stewardly I am certainly doing what will make me happy (or my perception of that).

What the heck am I talking about? One of the big questions: what are the desires of my heart and how do I follow them. I am not quite yet cocky enough to think I have answers to even half of the questions that gnaw my heart, but I know that to question my desires has always helped me. I find the deepest parts of my heart there (embedded in my desires), I make sure that I am listening to them and not to some addiction or passing fancy, then I try to follow them. The result: a cheap, but kind of cool-looking motorcycle...