I just received an e-mail from someone (I do not know who because they did not leave a name) who was listening to my podcast for some time apparently... They will no longer be listening after a comment I made where I said, "Jesus screwed all this up..."
I honestly don't remember exactly what I was talking about and am forced to assume this was in response to my last podcast about sub-cultures and counter-cultures and my own interpretation of which one Jesus was promoting through his Gospel.
The writer also was astute in pointing out that I am too-often abstract. I mean it that she/he was astute, I am abstract - I think that way, write that way (much to the chagrin of professors), and have always been led to teach that way (much to the chagrin of the students I get to teach).
I have two purposes in writing this blog: one to explain to the writer how their e-mail made me feel, and two: to fight e-mail as an actual mode of communication.
It sent a chill through my body, especially through my neck, and made my heart beat faster. Because I do not know exactly how the writer felt, I am again forced to assume that she/he was left upset by the comment I made. There was no dialogue. For all I know the listener has more knowledge and education about everything I talk about than I do. So, I am left with my heart beating quickly and no resolution whatsoever. I would be interested to know how I was wrong, i would be excited to ask forgiveness if i had offended, and I would be more than willing to talk if there was a misunderstanding. Instead I am left to write this blog...
A pastor in Michigan calls gossip verbal pornography because we want the rush of being in someone else's life without taking the time and energy to be in their life. It might be an imperfect analogy, but hey, it isn't mine! The point with e-mail is similar. If you have something to communicate that is more than just news/weather/sports - please communicate it in a two-sided way. I would like to write adjectives about my opinions about these e-mails. I won't. I just wish we might all learn a little something about people, and how to love them well this side of the New Heavens and the New Earth - we could start by communicating...
5 comments:
Hey. I just got your e-mail. And as your 'best e-friend' here I am responding!
a.) how should I respond since I don't actually know what the commentor said to you?
b.) tell me how to respond and I will respond accordingly!!!
c.) J/k. I agree that you are abstract. Maybe that added to the already sketchy confusion of the cyberworld. As you know, I myself frequently misunderstand you because you are abstract and I am concrete.
d.) I have also frequently found myself privvy to your exhortations against e-mail and IM as a valid form of communication :) Normally, I would disagree with you and say that some people BENEFIT from carefully thinking out and typing out their words... these are usually the people like me, people who have absolutely no concept of a filter and need the option to read what they're saying to make sure it's what they actually want to say before they say it... HOWEVER. Due to all our talks, I'm realizing the validity of your point of view more.
I think that e-mail works WHEN you're already friends with someone, know their style of communication, and already have great communication with them. Even then, you run the risk of getting in a tiff over something and blasting off a quick zinger that you'll later regret... but then you have the friendship and grace to fall back on. But if you haven't talked to someone in a long time, are on bad terms with someone, or don't even know someone and try to e-mail them, it's about 10 times easier to pop off those zingers without thinking about the consequences. Consequences? What consequences? I'm never going to even meet this person! I can say whatever I want to them because they only exist on my flat screen! ...I never thought of e-mail as being 'pornographic' before, but that does seem like a pretty good analogy. I think it involves the old Socratic wisdom of needing to 'know thyself' really. If you know you're in a snit and going to regret it, back away from the computer slowly. But
I think sometimes the temptation for me, at least, is to want IMMEDIATE resolution to something... If someone has offended me, I want to start the reconciliation process immediately. Since I'm merely an overpaid switchboard operator, I don't have access to phones (b/c I have to keep the lines free). It's much easier for me to e-mail people. So I just zap off an e-mail to at least get the conversation started (even if it says "You suck, I hate you!!!") I guess I hope the other person will believe in me enough to understand that I'm at least TRYING to communicate, however ineffectively:)
e.) but for you, it boils down to a person who does not know you at all, blasting you for a statement you made in a message. Important questions to consider:
1.)does this person HAVE your phone number? (no)
2.) do they know you in real life? (uncertain)
So it looks like e-mail was the only option here. I think what you're upset about is the nature of the e-mail (not inviting dialogue, just accusing ?? again, I don't have access to the e-mail, so this is all speculation).
Your response is interesting (tingly and shaken)... it's very like your response to my John Eldredge blog, which granted, was not very sensitive of me. But I'm your friend, so you forgave me for the little-man complex statement. This e-mailer is not your friend, so you'll have to just assume that he misunderstood your heart and march onward to greater things.
(OR you could write him a blog and post it on myspace and just hope he checks it. That's what a guy I blocked from my blog did. I didn't unblock him, but I DID understand where he was coming from better.)
Bottom line: e-mail is great but must be used judiciously. Also, knowing you, I can completely see you making the statement "Jesus came and messed all that up" or whatever it was that you said (I can't remember b/c this freaking comment is so long)... but I'm sure that given the right context AND YOUR HEART, it made perfect sense.
Grace, Blazer. We're all in need of it :)
damn. Now I feel stupid because I just saw the actual comment they left you. I thought they left you some sort of podcast comment (which of course I wouldn't understand, not understanding podcasts in general).
I just say you let it all roll off like water off a duck's back. If someone doesn't have the balls to confront you or ask you a question to your face, then there's just no way you can actually hope to communicate with them. I understand why you're upset, but there's not much you can do unless they're willing to actually hold a conversation with you. So maybe you should post your e-mail address here and invite the conversation with them????
P.S. I'm still waiting for my freaking blog link on your page...
Who are you e-train?
ELISA RENE'. You tool!!!
Post a Comment