Seasonal Affective Disorder; many people are somewhat affected by this. It is simply when the weather changes afffect your mood; for good or for ill. Today I feel close to depressed. It is, in fact, gloomy outside. I am about to transition jobs and am less able than usual to flee to the idol of productivity. I was hoping to just sit and read my Bible when I got to my coffee shop (from whence come all podcasts and most blogs because of their coveted high speed connection). I haven't don't that yet.
My great friend Mike Higgins has a cliche' riddled paragraph about attitude on his desk. Lloyd Dobbler thinks similarly, "Why can't you just decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood?" Webel has always fought to be controlled by anything, which seems like the antithesis of most people I know who are just looking for an excuse to act tired, etc. Isn't everyone tired and busy though?
I just wonder how much I am supposed to fight? How much am I just supposed to roll with it and look forward to tomorrow, hurt as few people as possible in the process? Or should I seach out what the real problem is and address it?
Pictures like this make me wonder how I could ever be in a bad mood...
(My wife and baby)
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing. It is nice to know that thing get to you, and that we aren't as different as I sometimes fear.
In one sense, we are all similar.
However, in many ways, you and I are so different, Blazer. I was thinking about my family this weekend, and we are definitely a "suck it up" breed. There are some good ramifications, but on the whole, I'm not sure it's the best outlook on life. I like to find things to hope for, signposts along the road of life that I can mark and measure and use to feel like I'm making progress. For me, a lot of my angst comes from inside--I jack myself up. With you, most of your struggles come from external forces, because internally you can stay optimistic. I envy you that ability. The beauty is that your circumstances will always change, so after you've completed your current tasks, moved on to seminary, and get past Turkey Day chapel, things will be different--and hopefully better.
I am realizing that I'm not good at masking my true thoughts on life. My kids are complaining that I'm more cynical, that I'm not the same person I was last year. I was trying today to decide to be my typical Webel, optimistic self. I want to be like Lloyd--to just decide to be optimistic and be optimistic.
In our classroom we've had a mouse who every week or so scampers across the room to a chorus of gasps. But one of the teachers caught him yesterday, and now he is in an aqarium. We're trying to keep him in the room, in his new home. He is very cute, grey, has beady eyes, and mostly stays inside of his hastily constructed home (a tissue box). His name is, of course, Ron.
Mom said...
If you never feel depressed or sad then you don't know what happy and excited feel like. When I have a bad moment or hour or day usually I can start thinking of all I have to be grateful for which is tons of things and I might still be depressed or sad but I feel better about how I feel too and not so guilty that because I am human I can't always feel "the right way".
Holidays are never easy and I personally think they should be outlawed. Then we could make up our own holidays whenever we feel happy and want to celebrate.
I love you Matt and I am a better person because of you!
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