The 6th Sense

So, when I saw the Sixth Sense I was late. It made it a far more intriguing movie. I remember later seeing a shirt that said, "I see stupid people... they are everywhere... they always want to talk to me." I thought that the shirt was funny.

Today I heard the 60th story of a stupid person, responding stupidly to a friend of mine who is in crisis. We talked it over for awhile - attempting to become sad, rather than angry and offended.

Reminds me of when people ask me if they can do anything when it is clear I am hurting. I know they mean well, and it is a hair better than "how are you doing", but I would like to have each of them sit with me and we would talk about how it is harder... but better, to simply say "I'm sorry this is going on", or "I don't have the words... I'm sorry" (cheesy - sure).

I can't get my head around my own desire to fix, much less anyone else's. But, I am more and more aware of when we are left with margin - some answers, but not all. Some hope, but not so much that we aren't consistently in pain. Some ability to see beauty, but some obscurity even in that.

Right this second what saves me (honestly it has been saving me for a few weeks now), is a robust definition of the Gospel of Jesus. My old pastor used to say, "You're a mess and you're loved", and he would sometimes spend a few moments really stressing the second. I would add, "and you have a role to play in the great story... You're a mess, you're loved, and you have a role to play in the story." It really helps, it really applies everywhere, I really preach it to myself on a regular basis, it really helps me not be intimidated by my worldview source - the Bible... it doesn't make the pain go away, but it takes the pain seriously and seems to offer robust answers to really awful and difficult questions.

Thoughts?

Discuss...

Some have asked for pics

So, the background of my computer changes all the time..

And, I thought that others should get to enjoy what is often so special about that...

An Enjoyable Evening

I have many good friends, one of them is Robbie Griggs. Thanks to Robbie I not only got to go to this debate tonight (Wednesday) for free, but afterwards I got to sit with his boss (one of my seminary professors) and one of the most famous atheists around - Christopher Hitchens.

It is late, because we got to sit together for a good bit and I'm sure that I will have more to write at some point. But, as I grow into my Christianity I am less convinced of the power of my persuasion and more convinced that life is a gift, God is in control and He is good. That being said, Christopher Hitchens is an enjoyable man to have a drink with. He can discuss religion, politics, and history with the best and he is well read. He is a bigger fan of Chesterton than C.S. Lewis, but he TOTALLY agrees with C.S. Lewis' proposition that it is irresponsible and ridiculous to consider Jesus (Hitchens calls him the Nazirite) anything other than liar, lunatic, or savior.

Mostly I listened to Dr. Doriani.

Although I think I caught him off guard by agreeing that many of Christianity's sins are evil (institutional sins in this case)!

Ultimately I enjoyed spending time with him, and with my friend Robbie, and with my professor.

I wonder if this will have a part two or three??? Maybe I should have sit with the Christian from the debate (D'Nesh D'Souza).

While I was there he ate salad, a bit of fried okra, had a Scotch (Some Glen...) and soda (what??? added soda??? yes...), and some Pinot Noir.

What fun it was... My mom said she doesn't usually like those things (although she listened to Bill Clinton the other night just to get herself worked up!), but I don't know if I would like the Dog Shows she goes to either!

Substance

I wonder often about the word Substance. I think it is because I often wonder if knowing Jesus offers a substance to my life and to the world, whereas not knowing Him might lead one into a less and less substantive life. I'm not smart enough to exegete my own sentence, but sometimes I am very struck by the lack of substance of the things that upset us on silly days, and then on other days the substance is very thick.

Yesterday was a hard day. It didn't help that I overate (probably because it was a bad day) at lunch and made myself even more tired.

Luckily, I had the presence of mind to run to the park with Caroline. It rained lightly (which helped honestly), and Caroline seemed the only person or thing of substance to me... I love Julia and my wife, but hadn't seem them much and had been in school most of the morning. School seemed hollow and less meaningful than I hope it will feel on other days.

I realize I was angry. My grief has moved away from my other loved ones and is becoming more selfish - not in a bad way. What I mean is that I am thinking and dealing with it relative to my heart rather than worrying (only) about my mom or my brother or my grandmother.

I have the same answers about death and suffering and the world that I had before this. The answers seem the same - substantive, but not exhaustive. God still seems to me to be good, but the world a bit messier. I love so many things about C.S. Lewis' statement, "Do not come to me with spiritual answers or I will suspect that you do not understand."

I'm doing well today (hence the ability to blog). I do not know how I will feel tomorrow. Mom offers me a lot of strength, my girls offer a lot also.