I'm pretty sure when Copernicus did all of the work that he did; he did not figure out that the world revolves around Matt Blazer. I'm pretty sure the church was aghast at his findings-that the Earth was not the center of the Solar System. And, I'm pretty sure they were mean to him about it.
Why do I have so much trouble taking everything personally? In my work, in my friendships, in conversations, interacting with my wife? Why is my picture of God so small that it has to be mapped out, explained, and then dealt with accordingly. I am a little tired of the hypocrisy of the church. And I am a lot tired of my own hypocrisy. I heard someone say a couple of weeks ago, that the point is to know the extent your own hypocrisy... or some such wise thing. The point is not to not be one: we all are, will be, have been, and might get worse before we are better. The point is to be honest about it.
I'm amazed how much the book, "Blue Like Jazz" has effected me. (What is the difference between effect and affect, I never can remember despite the piece of paper saying I have a degree in English). Donald Miller says we have to sit one out (we being the Christian Community). What a profound and simple quote. We have always thought our voice was so impotant that we needed to be broadcast, and whenthe world decided it wasn't we just bought some radio stations. Maybe sitting one out means offering that, "They shall know we are Christians by our love..." or some such thing. Why am I so concerned about good theology? (I, of course want to write, "why are 'we' so concerned...). I think there is a 0% chance that ANYONE has it down.
I didn't read Rick Warren's book, but I know that the first line is, "It's not about you." Reminds me of Fabbio the Bear; he says things like that to me. And he can, because I feel totally loved by him and never question his motives in telling me something like that. I know I'm partially writing because of something that upset me last night. I think I'm also writing because I want a biger picture of God, and I'm trying to flush that out a bit. I want to embrace the mystery also; I know the LORD and am thankful for that. I want that to help me to love people; I want my picture of the sovereignty of God to help me see his plan. In the abscence of that I want it to give me peace. I want to take things less personally. In short: I want to be changed.
9 comments:
Did you have a misunderstanding with your crisis friend or something? =)
I, too, do not understand the difference between affect/effect... I did for a couple of months, and then I lost it. Pretty sure I just sent out a mass e-mail using it incorrectly, though.
Nice to see your blog has been resurrected. I read in the Post online that 9% of the workday is lost to blogging on company time. I read that on company time.
I'll have to go back and read over your new post when I can write something deep and meaningful...
deer blazzey,
last night I was being retrospective. nope that's wrong. reflective? that must be it...
In any case, i was journaling and reading, and it occurred to me that I am very glad that you exist, and that you are you. You're a good egg (i know that you're sad i haven't said that in awhile, eh?) and i'm very thankful that i met you. and that you own batman.
secondly, i totally agree with this post on your blog. i should probably have a Fabbio the Bear of my own to remind me that "it's not about you." I always turn things back around to be a reflection on me, which as you said, just shows how self-centered I am. I wish I could have more of an eternal perspective. it's kind of interesting that i am super-sensitive when it comes to others hurting ME, but i am really not super-sensitve when you turn it around. how did that happen?
also, i did not like rick warren's book. do you think there's something wrong with me? it seems like i never agree with the status quo, and i'm worried that maybe that's because it IS the status quo, which is a dumb reason. I thought The Purpose-Driven Life was a good THOUGHT, but the entire book was chock FULL of cliches... one on top of the other, so thick you could barely see through them. Maybe it's because I was editing another devotional book for a writer at the same time, and I was in hyper-English major mode. I also don't like this book I'm reading by John and Stasi Eldredge, and everyone thinks the sun shines through their ears, right? I'm still reading it, but these writers are driving me freaking nuts... they take an entire book to say what they could say in 20 pages, IF THAT!! I see some serious points of contention in their theology. And finally, they quote Wild At Heart (written by him) all over the place. It seems a little ridiculous to quote YOURSELF like 2 or 3 times in ever chapter. Geez. Why not just put it all in one book and be done with it?
hello blazer....
Mostly I am glad you know you are loved enough by me to make those comments. i miss our lunches at quizno's or wherever was close to ice visions that day. I look forward to them again real soon (and not just because you rarely let me pay for them).
Also I am glad life is not all about you and for that matter am glad it is not all about me either... but I sure act like it is sometimes. We just need to trust we are loved and have something to offer the world... which is ourselves.
To quote Elrond speaking to Aragorn in Return of the King," Leave the ranger behind and become who you were born to be."
Love
Fabbio the Bear
Dearest Matthew,
I have finally had time to sit and read your entire page of blogs. I have to admit I am slightly overwhelmed by your philosphical-writing, but am happy to know your basic personality, at least as it shines through your writing is exactly as I remember. :) Does that mean I am thinking too much of myself? Anyway, just wanted to let you know I am reading.
And just one comment. I think you have always been a "QUOTER" from movies to books. And while a recommendation of something quotable should not replace an act of love, I think the recommendation of a quotable could also be a sign of love... especially coming from you.
Oh the thinker you are! :)
alicia
1st of all, you don't seem old enough to be 28.
2nd of all, some might argue that full disclosure is not entirely appropriate on blogs. You better be glad Rachel isn't into blogging yet and can't read your comments!
Blazer,
Here I am. Commenting. Although I'm not sure I have much insightful commentary to offer. Only that I constantly struggle with beating down my pride of theoloknowledge. As if he was going to give us a test when we get to heaven. he's only going to say "I never knew you" or "Hi son, welcome home" How that distinction comes to be, I do not pretend to know. But I know that
I love what St. Francis of Assisi said: "Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words". I also know that even as I write this I do not operate in that even on a semi-regular basis.
I recently have gone through a "flush out" time as well. And I think the most frustratingly wonderful thing about this faith is that it is true, but I can't prove it, and then by necessity, half the world gets to think me insane.
Oh and, the quote on my page is from that lady. I thought it was Mandela too, but when i went looking for it I never found it attributed to him. He's given credit for it because he used it in a speech, I think.
If you were a girl, I'd invite you to my MaryKay party this month. sigh.
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