So, Pascal says that everything I do I do to make me happy. My pastor quoted Tom Arnold (via Donald Miller) this past Sunday reiterating this same point. Arnold is admitting that what makes him happy is the approval of other people, but the larger philosophical point is the same... It is the reason one man commits suicide and one man buys a 97' Suzuki Marauder: because he thinks it will make him happy (or, more happy).
I hate money... sort of. I am writing this from my lap-top which I enjoy. I do have a U2 Ipod in my jacket... which I enjoy. There is more than that, but I still kind of think I hate money. Ask Fabbio the Bear, he will tell you. It comes from the way I grew up, or the way I didn't grow up, or maybe just the way I perceived my growing up experience. ANYWAY! I don't like money. I really want to know (and I mean percentages here) how much to save, how much to spend on my house, how much to give away, how much my wife can spend on small insignificant things, how much I can spend on large insignificant things, etc. However, Larry Burkett has all of those things. But, I don't want to do all of those for a lot of reasons. 1. I want to be free, and not develop morals stronger morals than the Bible. 2. I want a nicer house and a motorcycle. 3. I can't tell my wife to not buy 2 billion candles for our house when I own an X-Box, and Ipod, and a motorcycle... I'm sure there are more reasons.
What is funny is that we have money. Sort of... But, I have realized I want to have more every year. Not a ton, but I want there to be more every year. Ultimately, I want that because I think that the bottom line of our 401K, Roth IRA, and bank account - if they are just a little higher this month than last - will make me happy. I watch the houses in our neighborhood and if they sell quickly I feel very good about the theoretical equity Rachel and I are gainging in our house. That lasts for about a week (then we have to pay to get something fixed and I start to wonder how much of that we will get back money-wsie). Our children will be fine money-wise. When our baby girl is born we will start a college fund, etc. But, I will still want our financial bottom-line to continue to grow... it was big of me to realize this, and it is bigger to realize that while there is likely a pure philosophy somewhere about money - the bigger issue is trusting Christ. Give when we are able, save always, spend where needed and don't be legalistic about desires that are not 'needs', when we cannot save - don't worry... I don't even know the rest of them; it just seems revelatory that I think I want this pure philosophy - and I do. But, I want that pure philosophy to not cramp my personal style (0r my wife's). I Don't even know how to end my blog! Your responses are always enjoyable...
6 comments:
This issue is on my mind, too, since I don't even really have a job, nor am I saving anything close to a penny. But I want that job, and that paycheck, and those Benefits, and that little Austin Healy to cruise around in, and that new Martin, and that new camera. Finding the balance of good desires with no money, and bad desires with all the money I need. And the balance between leaving a good situation for more money, or staying for none. It brings to mind a song...
Wow it's on my mind too. The most frustrating thing is that the answer lies at some undefined point between "Money is the root of all evil, sell all possesions and give everything you have to the poor" and "Give because you really don't have to....but you should...but you don't have to...but you should." I think the easy answer is put it where your heart is. That's still not a percentage...sorry.
I love the commonality that it frustrates everyone... Seriously... I think I'm gonna try and post another blog todya on a different topic... But, I actually didn't want any percentages! Those are part of the problem! Linz, the in-between of generosity and good-stewardship smacks of the more stark in between you wrote: money is the roots of 'all kinds of evil' (a translation I like better) and the more post-modern philosophy of giving because you enjoy giving...
Well Hell you know I hate money and yet it is all i think about these days. i have to put out a support letter so I can move Katie and I to st. louis, but I can't even get the addresses figured out. Money is not however, as Lindsey says the root of all evil, rather the root of all kinds of evil. I think that is significant. it speaks to me the same way of how many people read that one verse in Jeremiah about the heart being wicked and desperately sick, then taking it and ignoring ALL other places where it talks about the value God puts on the heart.
Money is necessary, but in the end faith is more necessary I think, because God is in charge of all of this crap anyway. wouldn't it be nice to just trust God for stuff rather than ourselves or our bottom line. I wish I could do that.
Fabbio the bear
i kind of agree with Pascal, that almost everything we do is for our own happiness. I mean, isn't that the root of sin? and if we're sinful by nature, our chief desire is to satisfy our own needs before the needs of others (see my blog on king kong for current thoughts on the evil of humanity). I'm not sure that it's all bad to do things to make ourselves happy...because I think our own happiness is often a fortunate byproduct of our attempts to help others. I try to make Elisa's life easier (with varying degrees of success). Do I extend grace and understanding for her sake or my sake. I think the answer is, both. I sincerely want to care about her, and if it came down to it I'd like to believe that I care about her more than I care about myself, that I would sacrifice my own self interest for her sake. But at the same time I can't do that perfectly, my own desire tends to creep in and destroy my attempts to be selfless.
That's why I think real love is wanting the best for someone else. period. real unconditional love, I should have said.
I am not nearly as worried about what I produce as you are. It's funny, you even get on my case about my relative non-chalance concerning money. You always want me to invest more, to save more, but I don't think you think I'm a poor steward or that I spend frivolously. I haven't bought that HD tv....yet. to be honest, for some reason I shrink from doing things just to do them. (hello, baptism) while it's smart and wise to invest money, i don't think it really solves anything or fixes my future. Either my future is already secure in Christ, or everything I hope for is a lie. I alwys recoil against anythign that smacks of me putting my trust anywhere besides Christ. And that includes myself, my ability to provide in the future. I've always been much less worried (and less commanded) by money than you or the bear. I admit that it's not something to be proud of, but i also don't think it's all bad. I'm sure I'd have to have a different opinion if i was married.
like everything else, aren't we really talking about how our parents worked? Isn't the way we approach money a reflection of the way our parents valued (or didn't value) it? We either model ourselves after them, or we run from the example they provided?
but that's all what you've already said.
part of me envies your position, but part of me doesn't really care enough about money to really envy it. it would be more of a novelty than anything. but i'm much worse at saying no than you are, so I'd be hoodwinked repeatedly.
what I want is what you want: to be free, to be able to live without feeling bound by anything on this earth. free from guilt, expectation, obligation. and for that reason, money can kill our freedom by telling us "just trusting Christ" is crazy talk. It says, "sure, trust Christ, buddy. But make sure you tuck me under your mattress just in case."
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