Doctor Ridiculous

Sometimes I like to nickname. For some of our doctors it is easier than others.

Yesterday we met with an oncologist at Barnes Jewish, and his pedigree is kind of ridiculous (Harvard, Duke, Berkely and I think he was the inspiration for Doc Hollywood... Okay, not the last one). Alas, he was very responsible in the way he communicated with Rachel and I. He was unwilling to hide behind statistics; instead choosing to encourage us that a cure is on the horizon, it did not used to be so, and whatever route (surgery or chemo, surgery and chemo) we choose we will likely end up in the same place: full cure. I think I was subconsciously hoping that he was going to sound radically different than our other doctors. It is good that he didn't, but there was a let down that I am just beginning to place.

I think Rachel and I are both tired of visiting doctors. I still like joking with the nurses. My weight was 184.8, and I was really shooting for a 184 on the chart. I think I lost that one. All joking aside, I think Rachel and I are okay, we are processing as best we can. Yesterday I think we were tired; emotionally, mentally, etc. Re-read her blog entry as it was awesome.

Chemo is intriguing because it is a little more of a clean time line. This doctor wants three rounds (9 weeks), and then he thinks we would be done. Right this second I am leaning towards surgery (May 4th) and then Surveillance. The reason is two-fold (read: friends with Chandler in the box): One, they will do a pathology report because they will actually remove the tumors (Chemo shrinks them into nothingness). Two, if I can avoid Chemo I would like to do that. It is most likely that I would fully recover - in all ways - from chemotherapy (which is very bad for you). But, I would like to take a shot at no need for chemo. Again, Rachel and I are still in discussion and prayer. But, that is our update. Sorry to keep so many of you waiting.

The appointment was yesterday morning, and so the girls were with a babysitter. Later in the morning we went to the zoo, and as we pulled back to our house around nap-time Caroline, getting out of the car, turned to Rachel and I and said, "How was the doctor mommy and daddy?" It made me sad for a few seconds, but then I realized her context, and we told her it was fine except that daddy didn't get a sucker. Aside from the random tantrums and desire for near-constant near-nudity (usually shoes, wings, a tiara, and underwear), it is very fun to raise Caroline.

Side note: I got to preach on Sunday and I think it went really well. The highlight for me was sitting on a Bass-Guitar stand. if you would like to listen to it you can listen (or save it) from the church's website: www.riversidestl.org

Yours,
Matt Blazer