So, I take the stairs to the 7th floor of the Siteman Cancer Center. Because everyone says exercise helps. And it does. Yesterday we walked for about an hour after I got home, and I felt better (not 'good' mind you). Some of the nurses and workers up here try to get you to be happy, and some make faces that understand, and some make faces that make me think that they think that Ron just died (Ron is my dog, and he is unhappy these days, but very alive).
At the reception desk, where I get a pager, she said, "How are you doing?" And, I said, "You know what happens when I go back there right?" And, she said, "But, today's Friday!" And I said, "That I can get on board with... Yes, I am happy it is Friday."
Today marks the end of the first intense round of Chemo. Next week and the week after I only get one dose on Tuesdays (just two hours), and all it does is give me a fever... Sheesh, I will take a fever! So, apparently 24-48 hours after Chemo it will be out of my system - so that is exciting. By this time tomorrow I will feel crappy still, but I will feel crappy at home and I can take my family (or just my dog) on a walk. Walking sort of feels like my body is choke-slamming the nausea - it is still there, but further away.
By the way, this blog is supposed to make you smile or at least know that everything is okay. I can do this. The intense week is almost over, the view is nice, it took my four tries to eat my Chipotle Burrito from Wednesday but it is now gone.
Mom and I were commiserating that we would rather be grown in character through a conference or a book, but we are okay with this too. I think my whole family would ditto that. It hasn't been an easy couple of years for really any side of the family - although I don't think any of them begrudge me getting cancer. Anyway, thank you for your thoughts and prayers and concerns. Thank you to Ty for driving me today, thank you to those who have brought me lunch, thank you to Margie and Anne who watched Julia (although that isn't hard... she is pretty agreeable as long as you know where the yogurt is) so Rachel could come up here, thank you to those who did not bring me lunch because the thought of seeing a person or food actually made me feel worse. Thank you to the two young men who painted my fence yesterday.
Chemo sucks, but we need to do it (and i know that many of you are feeling it with us because of your affection for us - not just family). Chemo sucks, but it will be over in about five weeks. I can do anything for five weeks.
2 comments:
Hi, Mat, (as opposed to Matt, I've been reading your blog) I am so very sorry you & your family are having to endure one of life's greatest difficulties. I won't say I know what you are going through but I know how challenging these circumstances can be & my prayers are with you. If I was there I would "sit on the bench" with you & your family (re.Dr. Perry & the January Job class) It sounds like you have a great bunch of "bench sitters" surrounding you & your family with their love & compassion. And, yes, your blog (considering the topic) is funny & is a good read. Your honest & sincere words say a lot more than you might think.
Shalom, Mat, Sharai Rudolphi (Group 9, Job, On the Edge)
I remember one time a few years back your brother Russell was having a particularly bad time and I sent him a card that said something like "really God, I can not grow for a while and I will be OK with that" I feel that way about your life right now Matt. I think you and your family will be just fine even if you don't have to suffer anymore for a while and therefore run the risk of not growing for a while. You could try the happy go lucky shallow life for a couple of weeks! I love you, Mom
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