Thursday, April 30, 2009

Apologies

I wish we had more to say, and apologize to those of you who read so faithfully.

Rachel asked me today if we actually knew where the surgery was on Monday... I realized we don't. Its not because we don't care, its just that you become very out of energy through all of this discussion, blood tests, etc.

All that to say - for those of you who pray, we go in very early on Monday. For those of you who desire more information on the Retro-Peritoneal Lymph Node Dissection - ask Rachel to blog and she will answer all of your questions. I should be out of the hospital by Tuesday, should be on my feet Monday afternoon, and back at everything in two weeks.

If you REALLY want to do something you can buy me a cigar. Robert left two on my porch on Monday night.

Thank you - seriously - for your thoughts, letters, prayers and general affection we have felt deeply loved throughout this process!

Rachel objects to my desire for cigars. She said, "Um... You have cancer, don't tell people to buy you cigars..." My thought is that I have to give them up if I have Chemo, so in the meantime... bring em!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Stolen Blog


Now that I have titled the blog, "Stolen Blog" I want to write about why and how and when my wife is suddenly tempted to steal things. I will not for 3 reasons: 1. She has not stolen anything (yet??????!!!!!!!!!) 2. you should ask her because it is hilarious. 3. Three seems like a better number than two.

So, apparently many of you are reading the blog (I can't get my brain around what is wrong with that sentence... something).

A few days ago I wrote on our church's blog (theriversidechurchblog.blogspot.com) and I wanted to be sure I spread it everywhere since the overlap is not 100%. It is mainly a story, but has much to do with the cancer, and this season of our life. Here it is:

I was talking to my mom last week, and she told me that the woman who works for her - after finding out that I was sick - asked her, "Well, what does he think of his faith now?" (PS - if you weren't in church or don't go to church you can email me through our church website and I can explain my sickness).

This Space is in honor of her tact: __________________ .

To hear my mom tell the story it sounds like she sat the woman down and told her about Jesus. I mean, it kind of sounded like a come-to-Jesus meeting in lots of ways. So awkward! I mean, I know people that like to say provocative things and then sort of back off. But, when it is your employer (its my mom's company too... she's not just the boss), and she says, "No, you asked so I'm gonna tell you!" you have to sit there.

Mom said it was the most she had talked about Jesus in years. Seems like a good thing.

What I told Mom was that she could tell __________ that I am happy that my worldview provides good answers to the difficult questions we are faced with (both before and now). Now, that can sound silly in some ways, or like I'm dodging, but I mean it. Christianity does not offer pat or trite answers. But, it offers robust, thick answers to the questions we have. Sometimes the Bible will re-orient us to another question, that the Bible implies is a better question. Sometimes the answers suck. Such as when some of our "suffering" is caused by us, or by dead relatives we can't yell at. Other times it is frustrating because we are forced to realize that the dominant culture has us thinking we can actually eliminate many kinds of suffering - some through mere distraction, and other kids (like sickness) through medicine.

I am still happy that the Bible answers my questions. Through the Bible I expect people to have darkness in them. So, I am less surprised by suicide, divorce, squabbles over money. Through the Bible I do not expect to not suffer because of my faith. Through the Bible I believe there is hope of redemption (which is really the hardest one to believe isn't it?). I mean, ultimately we are not expecting answers to everything, I think we just struggle to have actual hope. It would be easy for me to write something trite about the resurrection. I do believe that it indicates the power behind true hope. But, I try not to be trite, I really do...

Monday, May 4th


So, Rachel and I came to a decision regarding my treatment. We have decided to have the surgery: Retro-Peritoneal Lymph Node Dissection on Monday (8 days, not tomorrow).

We came to the decision for a couple of reasons: one, it gives us a chance of no Chemo; two, they can biopsy the lymph nodes while I am "sleeping" and potentially look for more (Chemo simply shrinks, taking away diagnosis and the potential to know that the cancer is already gone); and three, the long-term effects of surgery are less than Chemo.

The surgery is laparoscopic, which means they don't but me open, there will be just 3 incisions and they will all be small circles. This is good for recovery time. Mom is coming into town to help, and we expect my recovery to be similar to the other one (really just a few days of pain, and about two weeks before I can do almost everything).

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, emails and phone calls. We have had so many ask how they can help. We will let you know - I promise!

I posted this pic because Caroline is eating frosting and sprinkles, and after my surgery I will have to observe a Medium-Triglyceride Diet (which means, not high fat stuff I think). No big deal.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Good Day

It is 12:39 AM and I should be getting on to bed. But, I just wanted to tell folks who are checking this that we all had a pretty good day.

Rachel and I both exercised (my first time since the surgery). I got a lot of school work done. Our girls seemed to enjoy themselves - the highlight for me was being in a very small tent ("castle") with Caroline and Julia.

Rachel got to get out for awhile (although the car wash took forever, thereby hindering her).

The guy from India fixed our Wireless Internet.

Anyway, amidst all of the mess and extra appointments, and decisions about chemo and surgery and surveillance it is good to know that it was simply a good day.

Also, if all of you make a big racket Rachel promised to post AMAZING pictures of our girls. (Reading between the lines: I post questionable pics :) ).

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Doctor Ridiculous


Sometimes I like to nickname. For some of our doctors it is easier than others.

Yesterday we met with an oncologist at Barnes Jewish, and his pedigree is kind of ridiculous (Harvard, Duke, Berkely and I think he was the inspiration for Doc Hollywood... Okay, not the last one). Alas, he was very responsible in the way he communicated with Rachel and I. He was unwilling to hide behind statistics; instead choosing to encourage us that a cure is on the horizon, it did not used to be so, and whatever route (surgery or chemo, surgery and chemo) we choose we will likely end up in the same place: full cure. I think I was subconsciously hoping that he was going to sound radically different than our other doctors. It is good that he didn't, but there was a let down that I am just beginning to place.

I think Rachel and I are both tired of visiting doctors. I still like joking with the nurses. My weight was 184.8, and I was really shooting for a 184 on the chart. I think I lost that one. All joking aside, I think Rachel and I are okay, we are processing as best we can. Yesterday I think we were tired; emotionally, mentally, etc. Re-read her blog entry as it was awesome.

Chemo is intriguing because it is a little more of a clean time line. This doctor wants three rounds (9 weeks), and then he thinks we would be done. Right this second I am leaning towards surgery (May 4th) and then Surveillance. The reason is two-fold (read: friends with Chandler in the box): One, they will do a pathology report because they will actually remove the tumors (Chemo shrinks them into nothingness). Two, if I can avoid Chemo I would like to do that. It is most likely that I would fully recover - in all ways - from chemotherapy (which is very bad for you). But, I would like to take a shot at no need for chemo. Again, Rachel and I are still in discussion and prayer. But, that is our update. Sorry to keep so many of you waiting.

The appointment was yesterday morning, and so the girls were with a babysitter. Later in the morning we went to the zoo, and as we pulled back to our house around nap-time Caroline, getting out of the car, turned to Rachel and I and said, "How was the doctor mommy and daddy?" It made me sad for a few seconds, but then I realized her context, and we told her it was fine except that daddy didn't get a sucker. Aside from the random tantrums and desire for near-constant near-nudity (usually shoes, wings, a tiara, and underwear), it is very fun to raise Caroline.

Side note: I got to preach on Sunday and I think it went really well. The highlight for me was sitting on a Bass-Guitar stand. if you would like to listen to it you can listen (or save it) from the church's website: www.riversidestl.org

Yours,
Matt Blazer

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Just a pic

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Post by Rachel


We met with a surgeon yesterday & a medical oncologist today... exhausting, but informative. And encouraging, in a round about sort of way. It was just good to have someone reassure us that the weeks in between the CT scan & the proposed treatment options are not long enough for the cancer cells to run rampant through his body. once you hear the words "aggressive cancer cells," you have visions of nasty little disease cells inching upward through the lymphatic system & invading matt's organs. Both doctors said that they would be surprised if the 2 enlarged lymph nodes grew significantly in the next few weeks... not ruling out the possibility of a little growth, but it isn't a major concern.

That said, we are thinking (somewhat sure) that we will proceed with a Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection (removal of the enlarged lymph nodes) on May 4 at Barnes Jewish Hospital. This will be a laparoscopic procedure in order to minimize the invasiveness of the surgery- an open dissection is a very large incision, much greater recovery time, etc. There are risks with each- we're looking into those, but this seems preferable at this time.

The literature we have read & the 3 doctors we have spoken with seem to concur on most all of the questions we have, which is VERY reassuring- who wants to make a judgment call about treatments that doctors don't agree on? The best option seems to be to follow surgery with 2 rounds of chemotherapy (which type of drugs will be involved is still under discussion) in order to reduce the chance of recurrence of the cancer cells to almost 0%. We like that math: Surgery + 2 chemo treatments= 99% chance of COMPLETE cure: good numbers! On the other side- chemo will likely make him somewhat sick if not very sick, so if we chose not to do it after the surgery, there is an option to treat by "surveillance." This means lots of blood work, CT scans, & appointments. Surveillance opens the door to a 20% chance of recurrence, which would then lead to 6 rounds of chemo. Not good numbers- like i said, chemo will not be a picnic & we'd like to limit it to 2 treatments & be done with this crap!

We are still going to see a different medical oncologist next week (monday) for another opinion & to consolidate all of matt's treating physicians to Barnes Jewish. 1) It simplifies the transfer of paperwork between hospitals, 2) it increases the chances of the doctors communicating thoroughly & working well together, and 3) it puts matt's treatment in one of the best hospitals in America (also closest to our home).

there are still outstanding questions- I think we come up with new questions all the time. And there is still fear of the disease as well as the treatment. And there are lots of questions about the future- the impact the surgery & chemo will have on matt's last semester of seminary, how this will affect his long term health, how this could impact the number of children in our family... and we are still processing how we communicate with each other and how we bring this before the Lord. I think we are much better than we were last week at this time- more answers, less shock, more reassurance, less paralyzing fear. We really feel surrounded by our family, friends & community. And we have the cutest, most amazing children ever, which doesn't hurt. And we celebrated the living Christ on Sunday- a deep & powerful Love for us that is over every dark & nasty thing we are dealing with. Christ isn't changing the facts of the cancer in matt's body- Christ is changing our hearts to hope & trust in His Good-ness through all of this. It doesn't hurt less, but we know God is acting behind & in & through everything. (Please remind me that i said this- i am sure to forget on a regular basis).

Thank you for all your calls, notes, e-mails, flowers & cookies. Thank you most of all for your prayers- it is really amazing to be on the receiving end of such incredible care. i hope that we love all of you as well as you have loved us.

-Rachel

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Insulating


I want to first say thank you for the emails, phone calls, blog comments, texts, etc. We feel loved during this time.

We are meeting with two doctors this week, one tomorrow and one on Tuesday (maybe a third, depending on them).

The weekend was good I think. I didn't have class on Friday (which means I also forgot Caroline had school... so, she didn't go), and while Caroline was not interested in the Good Friday Service at church (Julia had already made it clear she was going to bed) she and Rachel still went to Serendipity for Ice Cream. While they were gone I read and smoked a CAO Brazilian (Maduro wrapper) cigar. The significance is that earlier in the week I didn't want anything: to drink, to watch, to do, to buy, to smoke, etc. I have heard people say that when you are struggling lesser affections fade. I thin kthat that is true, depending on your definition of struggle.

My mom said that we were all waiting to hear that everything was fine after the CAT scan. Then, when it wasn't we have all had to re-orient ourselves. I think Rachel and I have been re-orienting (successfully) over the past few days. You are welcome to ask questions on the blog also. I have learnedthat I don't explain the medical aspect that well (maybe becuase I don't get it that well, hence the new rule: Rachel goes to all Doctor's appt's from now on), so I have left out much technical jargon. I will still try to answer any questions people have. I don't know if the information will make you feel better, but you are welcome to it.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A New Sort of Blog for awhile

So, for awhile I am going to use my blog to update people on my sickness. If you didn't know I was sick I am sorry you're finding out this way. On March 27th I had surgery for testicular cancer, and on Tuesday we found out it spread to two lymph nodes. So, we are seeing a surgeon on Monday and an oncologist on Tuesday - second opinions forthcoming. If you want to read I found a good article by the FDA, and Lance Armstrong's site is pretty helpful.

Some of you have asked how Rachel and I are processing this. Thank you for asking, I think that is a good question. I don't know. I spent a lot of time in prayer today, asking the LORD a similar question. The answer I received is that I already know how to be faithful as a husband, father, son, friend (obviously not always and with varying degrees of "success"). Tomorrow I may hate that I wrote that, today the LORD told me that I know how to be a husband and be sick, that I know how to be a father, that I know how to be a friend.

Caroline knows when I go to the doctor and that I had an "ouchy" (I say past tense because I swing her around again). We aren't really scared of death because the survival rate is so unbelievably high in these cases (Lance Armstrong's site is pretty helpful if you want to learn more than I am telling you). Also, Rachel and I made a deal that neither of us is ever allowed to die :)

Many of you want to help. I promise we will let you know when we need help (and we probably will). Many of you don't know what to say, and I want you to know that we appreciate it when you say just that. It conveys the emotion. Many of you want to talk. If we do not answer the phone or call you back, please forgive us and assume that we are receiving many more calls/texts/visits/facebook messages than we are used to.

Rachel and I are thankful for many things. For Jesus and the accompanying world-view that gives us a context for life and for suffering (or sickness). We are thankful for a large and loving family. We are thankful for a very understanding and loving House Group that has already been through a lot this year. And, we are thankful to our church and other friends who love us so well.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Videos


So, yesterday evening I watched a 10 minute video of Jazz Pianist Eric Lewis performing for this year's TED. Smarter people than me can tell you about TED, but if you don't know about it it is a good time to Google it so when people talk about it you don't think they're kidding about the title of the conference.

The interesting thing is that listening to Eric Lewis is compelling, and I sound refined or at least I am interested in being refined or something.

But, the video I watched last before Eric (maybe 5 days ago... I don't watch videos as much as _______ ) who always sends me links, was Achmed the Dead Terrorist. My wife thinks Achmed is hilarious and lately she has been calling my doctor Achmed because she is annoyed with him.

The point is, or the question is. What does it say about me that those are the last two things I watched? What does it say about the culture? It just seems amazing, and slightly intriguing that I can watch those to videos as easily as I did and they are the only ones I watched. I almost watched a sermon... Then I didn't.

And, in between paragraph one and three of this blog post Rachel and I SKYPED our great friends the Sweeneys in Singapore. The world is a funny, inter-connected place and while some days I use that to learn about dissonant, cutting edge-jazz piano... others I just watch Achmed.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Shabbos Email


One of these days I will take the Sabbath seriously enough to remember how I work.

Our family has been getting better at playing on Saturdays, and today I had un-get-out-of-able meetings this afternoon and we had people over later... So, the morning was all for playing and being. Rachel made a LOT of coffee (helps everything) and some blueberry muffins, and when Julia went to sleep for morning nap I took Caroline to Rocketship Park (which is kind of dad and Caroline's Park). But, before I left I checked my email.

Now I'm mad. Because... Well, that's why - I'm not telling you, the anecdote is not about anger, it is about knowing that I didn't need to check my email. Yea, checking my email drew me into my work life where someone had disappointed me. This blank space is in honor of that email and my thoughts _________________________________________________.

Caroline wanted to swing for awhile (I thought about the email). Then she wanted to climb for awhile (I kept thinking about it). She didn't want to slide because last time we were there there was a big puddle. Then we went to the sand... Ahh, the sand. I sat on a bench. I know not to, she wants my presence, so I ran in the sand with her. Then we sat in the sand. In the sand I let it go, there was grace in the sand. We hung out. She made some sand angels (snow angels might be too many senses and a bit of fear, btu we are ready for sand angels). We talked about Wall E (I am Burn-E from the short movie, Julia is MO, Rachel is Eva... you might be able to figure out who Caroline is). We watched a train or two. It was neat to watch Caroline learn with her eyes, and no talking, that she could see the train in two places through the trees. Good ole' Rocketship Park.

I felt myself relax, let it go, etc. Things that are a normal part of living and working and knowing people. But, how much easier would it have been to be present (I'm so good with grammar and words) if I had simply not checked my email? I don't play video games too much anymore because I realize they don't actually relax me. I drink more tea. I try to reflect. This last one seems easier when you're sitting in the sand. Thank you Lord for the grace of the sand. I will try to not check my email next Saturday. Thank you Caroline for continuing to want to play.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Lent

Almost every year I decide I should really use Lent to ponder...  or to become more spiritual or something.  Seriously, it seems like such a basically good idea.  And, every year I forget.  I'm in Seminary and we don't seem to talk about it much.  I haven't gotten over to Wikipedia yet to see if there is a cool story about giving stuff up.  I DO have some trout in my freezer that we could fry on Friday I guess...

This is a fun article if you want to start observing late: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7923701.stm

Thoughts on Lent?

Did you give up anything?  

Have you ever had a great experience with Lent?  

Anybody ever go through the book Mars Hill (Bell's Mars Hill, don't think Driscoll is going to support Lent too much) put out a few years ago?  I think I saved it, never printed it, and definitely don't remember anything about it.  

I find it funny the amount of tests and papers and discussion forums I have to do for Seminary...  And, this might be my first conversation on Lent.  If there are a billion Roman Catholics then I am just out of touch right?  :)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Oscars

There are things about the Oscars that are funny.  I could hear my mom in my head saying, "Oh Goldie..." at one point.

Alas, I am catching up today.  However, I heard Dustin Lance Black's comments at his award for best Screenplay.  It was almost unnerving how good they were.  Carefully nuanced, incisive, terribly saddening, and unqualified enough to convict evangelicals (I hope).  

"I think he'd (Harvey Milk) want me to say to all of the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been they are less then by their churches, or by the government, or by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value.  And that no matter what everyone tells you, God does love you, and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights federally across this great nation of ours."

The political part gets me less than the first part...  I am embarrassed that he says it so well when Christians seem like they cannot.  People do not deserve to be marginalized and abused...  period.  I think Jesus would have stood and applauded, or maybe he would have been out pleading with the picketers to stop.


Monday, February 16, 2009

90 Blogs later




And I am still not positive what the purpose of a blog is.

I know this one is a random thought blog (because I twitched when the job ge by the guy at school said, "if you have a random thoughts blog...  shut it down while you're looking for a job).

I know i like to put up pictures of my daughters.  

I know I sometimes like to try to be provocative, by saying things like "I voted for Obama" or "I think Abortion is a gigantic distraction to evangelicalism".   Both of those things are true by the way.

I don't label much.  (down at the bottom)  

Here is a question...  I get to preach in April.  I am thinking of a couple of possibilities and would love your thoughts.  1.  "Margin" - How do you feel knowing the Bible takes your questions and often answers other ones oftentimes?  This would be about the Bible and our questions essentially.  2.  "Why be good?"  My short answer would be mission.  In my 31 years of experience I don't think many Christians get why to be good, and many who are watching churches (insert your word, "non-religious, religious, irreligious, atheist, seeker, agnostic, etc.) tend to perceive that Christianity is big on rules and be annoyed by it.  3.  What about giving people two Sundays where they could write their questions on index cards and then I could take like the top four (having no idea how I would determine that...  especially without being deterministic)?  

Thoughts?  

The great thing is that I stopped reading for school about 15 minutes ago because I was tired...  I was reading a 60 year old article about Natural Law by a professor who is trying REALLY hard to be relevant.  I couldn't focus...  till i started blogging about...  NOTHING.  Hilarious.  I really would appreciate your thoughts though!

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Stuff Christians Like







Hannah Wood turned me on to this blog. It is unbelievably accurate towards the strange subculture of evangelicalism. AND, I just learned that Jon went to college with my wife. Hilarious.

Here is a brief sampling, a bullet-point of a fictional interview with that guy that interviews movie stars... It is about people criticizing the Sermon at lunch.

1. I'm just not being fed.
What a fantastic way to look as if you're more spiritual than the pastor himself.

2. That message was not meant for me.
You are so generous to have sat there patiently while someone else that needed that sermon was able to receive it. What kindness.

3. That didn't feel like church.
What a perfect smokescreen of vagueness. How can anyone argue with your feeling? What does that even mean? More organ? Less organ? Better lasers? No lasers?

4. There wasn't enough Bible in that for me. That felt like a business leadership book.
What's enough? No one knows, which is why this is such a gem.

5. I'm not sure that sermon works in a postmodern world.
I'm not even sure I know what the word "postmodern" means, but it's fun to say. Few things make you look smarter than repeating this word. Repeatedly.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Stupid Kirk






I NEVER do these things.

But, Kirk did one, so I thought i would do one. With every person I put on my list ( you are supposed to do 25), a little bit of my will to live left me. So, I will throw it on the old blog...

1) I like coffee. French Press about twice a month.
2) Lately I have been spelling my name, "mat" to elicit whatever relaction.
3) My poor wife has noticed that while thinking I make very strange movements with my bottom lip. She wishes she could scold me, but she cannot stop laughing usually.
4) I got to hang out with two of my favorite authors in the last 6 years.
5) I would like to eventually publish a short story or essay
6) When someone introduces me as his or her pastor, I laugh because I am not one, then I try to sort of hide it... then I kind of repent...
7) I like NPR. I wish I liked music in general more. I like Jazz, but wish I liked it more.
8) I am suspicious of Christians
9) I have never thought of anything permanent enough in my life to tattoo, except my wife or kids but that would be kind of dippy.
10) I say "Dippy" because of my wife, and "silly" because of Caroline.
11) I think telling people to find their passion and do it, sets most people up for a discontent and at times miserable life. I agree - and still do it.
12) I keep in touch with about 10-15 men in a pretty deep and personal way. Not as often as I might like, but pretty dang often.
13) I love re-imagining the Christian faith. For everyone (including myself)
14) if I don't play basketball for a week I begin to feel partially empty.
15) If I do not get at least one rebound I shouldn't have got and thrown one amazing (or "ill advised") pass in that game, for someone else to score... Then I will be slightly less happy all week. I would take a 3 pointer too, btu some weeks that is pushing it.
16) I'm afraid to plant churches, because I dont' want to. But, I'm afraid I will become cynical enough to do it.
17) The last 3 people who tried to ue my chainsaw couldn't. 2 thought they broke it. It made me feel like more of a man.
18) My Dog's Name is Ron. I knew the name for about 5 years before he came into our life (not incarnationally, we adopted him from a stray society). He is likely the best behaved (inside) dog that you know.
19) Kirk Adkisson once took my wife and I to the Hillin St. Louis, and I ate a bowl of Spaghetti. It HURT. A lot. becauseI ate as much as Kirk could and no one should have
20) I flirt with murdering my cat: Batman. Not really. But, kind of. My friend Ty would also like to kill him.
21) I like the NBA. I liked it when everyone else was down on it. Even when it was like the WWF (94 and 95).
22) Andre Dubus is my favorite author.
23) I have tried 35 kinds of Scotch.
24) My Mom is the best business-person I know. Seriously.
25) Kirk is getting into Birding. What is birding?
26) I can quote lots of 80's movies and songs. Probably more than you, but maybe not more than ANYONE you know.
27) Definitely missing the end of my right thumb, and have definitely used that to every advantage I have ever been able to think of. Told the story at least 5000 times (I can explain how I get to that number if you want to know), and make a joke about 4.6 times/week.
28) Saw U2 at Slane Castle in Ireland about two weeks before 9/11.
29) My wife is very beautiful, and I have been lately pretty aware of it. Not bragging, just happy.
30) I'm becoming a Pastor of Arts and Culture in the Fall and I know less about Art and music than almost everyone you know...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Just in Case












Just in case you check my blog, and don't ever visit the BBC's Day in pictures.

This is a young man dancing on the rubble of his home in Gaza.

I don't know if pictures like this make my faith greater or if they increase my doubt.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Gran Torino







I just watched Gran Torino.

There is a hollowness in Clint Eastwood's movies. I mean it as a compliment, but it is there nonetheless... some spaces in the acting and writing, and even the shooting that I don't know if I am smart enough to get. But, it makes me feel like I'm NOT watching the latest flick.

There was a lot in there about good Masculinity. That part makes me sad for a lot of reasons I really don't feel like getting into.

There was some community stuff... I guess.

There was some racist stuff... I guess.

There was some spiritual stuff... I guess.

What was the last movie you saw that moved you? I think Gran Torino moved me. It made me sad that I didn't know some men well, and sadder that I didn't know others longer. It is interesting and difficult to be a man. I would compare it to being a woman, but you know... I do live with three of them though. Ron doesn't count. Check the blog in five years and we'll see if I have come up with anything.

I think Gran Torino moved me. What was the last movie that moved you?

Yes, I know the picture is not of a Gran Torino... I liked Better off Dead A LOT when I was growing up...

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Ethics/Culture












I'm sitting in a class right now and the professor just quoted an author I have just recently started reading. He said not to put the quote in my blog... Then I raised my hand and said, "Did you say not to put this in my blog?" and he said, "Just don't say, Pastor ________ said, that ____________ ____________ said,

"The problem with Capitalism is that is makes shitty people." "

So, I will just include the quote.

Thoughts???

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Blogging in 2009 (job too)

The blog was private because I was looking for a job, and one suggestion that I thought was a good one was to hide any random thought blogs. This blog is nothing if it is not a random thought blog!

So, if you attend Riverside Church (and were there on Sunday) you know that I have a job when I graduate (August unless I burn out in the Spring), at Riverside. Many of you have sent encouraging texts, facebooks, etc. Thank you! And, know that I have a finite number of text messages - therefore, am saying thanks this way.

So, I will be the pastor of arts and culture... I think. We have till September to figure it out it seems! And, more importantly :), my blog is now not-private.

I should write more about how glad I am 2008 is over (it was a long year in many ways). I should write more about how awesome my mom is - we just spent a week together in California, New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado. I should write more about my kids and how cool they are. I should devote at least one blog to my wife - after all - how else could my kids be so cool? I should write about the people we lost this year, but I think I already did that (and, thankfully... no one has died since then... I hope that doesn't sound calloused or insensitive... some of my friends have lost since then. But, five seems like a lot).

Anyway, the purpose of this is to explain 1 - Why the Blog went private for two months. 2 - To explain the Job I got.