Monday, April 02, 2007

Inspiring???


One of my older brothers said that my blog is inspiring. He was talking about posting on his own site: greenegenes.net But, then someone else said that the picture of Caroline and I at the Ocean looks like one of those posters with a 'hard-to-follow' quote at the bottom.

I have to say. There is nothing like having a child to remind us that there are wonderful things in the world. Furthermore, she is amazing to watch. She can climb stairs, has started talking (not to us, in English, but talking nonetheless), and you can actually see her thinking (about things like: should I army-crawl or regular crawl, eat all the cheerios or one by one...).

What I'm saying is, life is pretty amazing (and also pretty dark - but I'm not writing about that). I think I wish I were still learning and growing at the rate she is. My friends and family would certainly appreciate it I think.

What is amazing to you? Even if today was difficult... What is beautiful?

Monday, March 26, 2007

We love Plastic Fruit


I love that my baby becomes more and more alert to us and her surroundings. She puts her hands up when she is done eating; we say, "All Done?" and she does it again... and woe to him or her who might ask Caroline if she wants to eat after putting her hands up.

She waves at everyone these days... She cries when I leave (I'm sure this will get old at some point)... She sort of imitates our noises. it is just awesome...

Family Everywhere


We have family everywhere, and I don't think they check the blog, but they should have these pictures...

Friday, March 23, 2007

Ocean or Mountain


Despite the fact that I used to live in the mountains I think I am more of a beach fellow. I don't die a little inside if I haven't been to the beach that year, but I do like the ocean a lot.

I think this is one of thoe questions like, "If you could fly or be invisible which would you choose?"

Our vacation was very nice. I read my first Phillip Roth book, played in he sand with my baby (ocean was too cold her her), we rode bikes, it was very relaxing to not e-mail, use my cell phone, keep up with the tournament, or even study. If Rachel and I could have kept our allergies at bay it would have been bliss instead of 'very nice'...

Caroline liked it very much, and didn't get sick...

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Fear and Vacations

So, here is my daughter after her first cupcake...

I remember the day I wrote my last blog very clearly, even though we are one day shy of a month removed.

Life is tricky and weird and goofy, and some days I want no part of it. By 'it', I simply mean the difficulty of being near so many people and them being near me. I suppose many have the opposite problem with life: not enough people, connection, or whatever in their life... Ahhhhh the human condition in all it's dualistic splendor!

Sunday (the 18th) is Caroline's Brithday, but we celebrated today (Saturday) because of our vacation schedule - and because Sundays are terrible for the naps.

As you can see, she enjoyed demolishing her cupcake (You should've seen the cupcakes... mom out-did herself). The latest numbers have it that 40-68% of said cupcake was in fact consumed by Caroline. The rest was scattered to the wind, the bath she entered directly following the cupcake, her carefully-smocked dress, and to Ron (our dog).

If you have a Spring Break enjoy it, if you don't make sure you do nothing for some ofthe weekend - that pesky 4th commandment and all...

Monday, February 19, 2007

Just Keep Moving


I struggle with fear. Many of my friends do not think that I do, and i hope that I do not respond to life in a fearful manner. Regardless of those issues, I feel fearful right now. I have no idea if it is for a good reason or not, but my hands are shaking a little and my stomach feels very queasy...

On a better note, I do love my daughter, and as this picture indicates: she loves me!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Two Plus Two Equals Evolution

So, a friend of mine has a really smart child. I mean, he's just over two and speaks in sentences, he get's context, it's crazy. Anyway, the other day they are at the dinner table and my friend and his wife are asking the boy (we'll call him Charlie, because that is his name) questions to keep him entertained while they finish their dinner.

His dad, Robbie, (running out of questions) asks him, "Hey Charlie, what's 3 times 6?" Charlie says, "Eighteen." Robbie and his wife look at each in astonishment, then Robbie thinks for a second, and asks Charlie, "Hey Charlie, what's 4 times 6?" Charlie answers, "Eighteen!"


While I'm certain that that is a good illustration of something I haven't yet dtermined what it is. So, I just keep tellingthe story because I like it.

And I blog because I like blogging.

And I post pictures of my daughter because she is awesome.

There are some pictures that don't exist electronically that you will just love...

So, my question is: Why do we need answers so badly? I can think of so many things about God that are hard to reconcile (trinity, suffering, 2 bizillion denomination - course that isn't really about God is it) and I wonder why it is so complex. I heard a professor talking about the date of Genesis One, and he dodged it by asking us if we thought the author of Genesis was attempting to answer that question...

I myself, having heard that before, was not so much moved. But, I wonder if the same things that bother so many people (or at least they say they do - as I get older it REALLY just seems like everyone is wounded and they have other things they talk about) are some of the very things God left vague to keep us in awe; to keep us constantly trying to reconcile some of the coolest things about ourselves, him, and this very strange world. Probably too many infinitives and prepositions in that sentence...

What a picture though right!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Perspective


So, until recently I was a youth pastor. Wow, that sounds funny to say...
Anyway, Youth Pastors generally take their kids on 'Mission Trips'. Sometimes to places like Tiajuana where they build stuff, sometimes to the Bahamas (I am not making this up) where they sleep on the floor of a church, rebuild it, and do a VBS there, sometimes to Indian Reservations where the alocholism and poverty are more rampant than most can imagine. For the past few years I have actually been taking our kids to a camp for kids with special needs.
One of the reasons I do this is people generally come back from a trip with this, "This trip really opened my eyes..." kind of an attitude. And I think there is a lot more to be had. I think God offers service as a gift for us, and foir others. I think he has a redemptive plan for the whole world and one of the most exciting things I know of is participating in that plan...
Recently some friends were over and they had just heard a speaker who lives in a poor section of Philadelphia. It was an amazing story really; I wish I knew the guy's name who spoke (journeyon.net I'm sure it's on there somewhere). Anyway, one of my friends kepot talking about what great luxury we live in (and by we she meant herself, her husband, me, etc.), and she is totally correct - most of us do live in great luxury. The poverty line is right around 19,000 a household; even youth pastors are way above that!
But, I was thinking after she left - isn't the idea greater than one of perspective? Perspective reminds me of the flip side of guilt. 'A new perspective on my life' seems to only work for a little while, and I often wonder (especially when people come back from a trip with 'a new perspective') if they didn't miss part of the greater point. Now, don't get me wrong here - a fresh dose of perspective can be a great thing (similar, again, to guilt); but, I think it can only be a great thing if it is accompanied by a true look at our life philosophy. What do we truly think about money, the real heart of that issue? Do we really care about poverty and the marginalized, and if so are we taking steps (not just financial) to help these problems?
I heard an amazing talk when I was a sophomore in college by a guy who is studying (now) to get his PHD in math so he can teach people how to teach math... Man, what a weird guy! Anyway, he said that when we are motivated by guilt (he had this circle graph too, it was awesome) we get passionate about doing or not doing something, until the guilt fades after a period of time. Then we are okay, until we are not okay and again confronted with this issue again. Because we stopped on account of guilt we have no real foundation for change, and we will slip again, feel bad again, stop whatever the problem was, but only until the guilt fades again.
I think it is similar with perspective. When we see things on the news, experience them on a trip or on accident or on the street we must consider whether our philosophy includes these problems. Every day we are engaging with amazing issues such as poverty, racism, classism, etc. When we are shocked and give some money away that is okay, but a true evaluation of the depth, breadth, and contents of our philosophy is much more powerful.
Wow... haven't written this much in awhile. I think it is because my friend Patti is going to Cambodia for two years with the peace corps. I linked her blog; go read it. And, enjoy the picture of Caroline Kelton Blazer in the pink sweater her grandma sent!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Prunes Anyone???


How in the world could I not post this picture???

I have a question that has nothing to do with my messy baby, or the fact that mom gives her prunes periodically to... well... Um, if you don't know what prunes do, check on Wikipedia or something...

Why is it that everyone, when you ask for more time for friendship, a good cause, or whatever all of a sudden is shockingly broke, busy, and exhausted? Is it a priority thing? Is it true? Is it partly true?

Thoughts???

I know the second one is my favorite excuse, and I usually use my wife and baby as excuses... When the tired one hits I usually fall back on, "Am I really tired or are my prioroities mixed up?" (because I am thinking that I am tried because i didn't do something (like read, watch a movie, some work, hang out with my baby, wash my car) for a series of reasons...) Oh yes, I will use double Parentheses if I need to!

You?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Loneliness


My wife and baby are in memphis visiting family (and fleeing the 85 foot tall tree we are having cut down), and so you might think this post is about that. It is not.

I am simply amazed by the ways we (and by 'we' I mean myself) put ourselves out there. I have a podcast, a blog, a facebook, a myspace, an e-mail address, and an AIM name. I have GREAT reasons for each one: podcast - Mike asked me to do one, and I can't refuse Mike anything. Blog - lately, it is my excuse to put pictures of my daughter all over the place. Facebook - I'm a youth pastor, I can comunicate with 100 kids in three minutes using Facebook. Myspace - there are friends who only use Myspace, and that is the only way to read their blogs. E-mail - I have sent over 5000 e-mails since I came to work for Greentree. AIM - I have had blzrscool for 13 years now!

Anyway, I am amazed at how we put ourselves out there (often different selves for different venues), and yet we are still so lonely. Chap Clark said (to 700 Jr. high kids) that loneliness is the human condition. I think he is right, and when I think about how lonely most people (and myself many days) are, my heart is broken.

I wonder if the great irony is going to be all this technology pushing us back into human contact because it is such a great need in all of our lives. I wonder if the lesser irony, everyone sitting at coffeeshops typing away with their headphones on, will ever strike anyone like it does me...

Thoughts?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

SAD and Lloyd Dobbler


Seasonal Affective Disorder; many people are somewhat affected by this. It is simply when the weather changes afffect your mood; for good or for ill. Today I feel close to depressed. It is, in fact, gloomy outside. I am about to transition jobs and am less able than usual to flee to the idol of productivity. I was hoping to just sit and read my Bible when I got to my coffee shop (from whence come all podcasts and most blogs because of their coveted high speed connection). I haven't don't that yet.

My great friend Mike Higgins has a cliche' riddled paragraph about attitude on his desk. Lloyd Dobbler thinks similarly, "Why can't you just decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood?" Webel has always fought to be controlled by anything, which seems like the antithesis of most people I know who are just looking for an excuse to act tired, etc. Isn't everyone tired and busy though?

I just wonder how much I am supposed to fight? How much am I just supposed to roll with it and look forward to tomorrow, hurt as few people as possible in the process? Or should I seach out what the real problem is and address it?

Pictures like this make me wonder how I could ever be in a bad mood...

(My wife and baby)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Change



It is hard for me when a philosophy is presented that is not a philosophy. These recent elections (I'm of course writing from Missouri) had an interesting result that seemed more about 'change' than any particular political platform; unless of course rejecting a platform is a platform!

Examples of my earlier point: loyalty, sincerity, and 'change' are not, in and of themselves good or bad, they just are... I heard someone say yesterday (he happens to drive a jaguar and his silver hair - so, stereotype and judge all you want), "Well, Claire McCaskill won't be able to find her way to Washington, so it isn't a big deal..." His comment made me sad. I did not vote for McCaskill, but I do support many policies that she claims to hold. More importantly, I want her to do well because she is in office. This is not a war anyone lost (hopefully!) it is politics...

My fear is that we were so busy screaming for change we weren't paying attention to the issues, our own hand in shaping them, etc. Instead, we were busy reacting to things we don't like. I think of Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black answering Will Smith's question, "Why not tell people, they're smart, the could handle it?" "A person is smart; people are dumb stupid animals and you know it..."

I myself wonder if I voted as a person or as a group of people. I also wonder what the recent changes in our nation will bring.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Settling


What does it mean to settle?

Can someone reconcile for me the difference between buying into the American Dream (which I would say is a fallacy, in that it doesn't deliver anything emotionally - instead it just delivers stuff) and the flip side of our culture not (generallly???) having the courage to believe in the romance of life... Are we, in fact, settling for the American Dream?

And, of course, one more picture...

Just a picture


the discussions are waning, but I don't want anyone to miss out on some of our latest pics...

Monday, October 30, 2006

Giving


I'm pretty sure this blog is supposed to be about going to game five of the series... I did stand on 7th street for an hour high fiving people after the game...

But, I want to know (and my e-friends, with the one noteable exception, are not responding super-well to these questions) how much we should give to one another. One of the counselors I used to see used to draw a circle and then a line in the middle of it. He would then talk (briefly because he is a very good counselor) about when one person gives 50%, the other only 25, how there is then a void... (and what should we do with that void???)

I think everyone responds to the void differently, give more, give the same (His solution) amount you were before, give less (kind of a negative reaction I would think, but one could argue for it), or chuck the relationship entirely.

Lately, I have become really aware of how much and how many relationships I desire, but I realize also I don't know how to love many of my friends well. Some live in town and I don't do well, some live in South Carolina and I don't do well. Some live in New Jersey and I think we do a fine job... (Those are all people, I'm not good at 'examples' who are truly anonymous... )

How do you give? When do you feel like you could give more? Are your friendships improving at this point in your life? I didn't even get into family... So much harder, yet with so much more natural love there...

I put in a picture of my wonderful daughter because 1. She is the main attraction to my blog. 2. This is HER FRIEND, Princess Poodelina Rose, and 3. She is currently asking me very sternly if I could (perchance?) leave the keyboard and fix her some applesauce and barley.

Friday, October 13, 2006

E-Mail

I just received an e-mail from someone (I do not know who because they did not leave a name) who was listening to my podcast for some time apparently... They will no longer be listening after a comment I made where I said, "Jesus screwed all this up..."

I honestly don't remember exactly what I was talking about and am forced to assume this was in response to my last podcast about sub-cultures and counter-cultures and my own interpretation of which one Jesus was promoting through his Gospel.

The writer also was astute in pointing out that I am too-often abstract. I mean it that she/he was astute, I am abstract - I think that way, write that way (much to the chagrin of professors), and have always been led to teach that way (much to the chagrin of the students I get to teach).

I have two purposes in writing this blog: one to explain to the writer how their e-mail made me feel, and two: to fight e-mail as an actual mode of communication.

It sent a chill through my body, especially through my neck, and made my heart beat faster. Because I do not know exactly how the writer felt, I am again forced to assume that she/he was left upset by the comment I made. There was no dialogue. For all I know the listener has more knowledge and education about everything I talk about than I do. So, I am left with my heart beating quickly and no resolution whatsoever. I would be interested to know how I was wrong, i would be excited to ask forgiveness if i had offended, and I would be more than willing to talk if there was a misunderstanding. Instead I am left to write this blog...

A pastor in Michigan calls gossip verbal pornography because we want the rush of being in someone else's life without taking the time and energy to be in their life. It might be an imperfect analogy, but hey, it isn't mine! The point with e-mail is similar. If you have something to communicate that is more than just news/weather/sports - please communicate it in a two-sided way. I would like to write adjectives about my opinions about these e-mails. I won't. I just wish we might all learn a little something about people, and how to love them well this side of the New Heavens and the New Earth - we could start by communicating...

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Leaving a Legacy


I know I want to do this... I know some aspects... and I know I want it to be me-specific... is that bad? What does it mean to leave a legacy? how much of it is your family? How much is it like getting published or something...


I took this picture (unlike almost all of the others... taken by my wife). I love my daughter, she is such a trip...

reflect



So, this picture is about relflection (The thing I'm bad at). We also took a picture of our feet: one set very small, one a woman's size six, one a man's size 10... Very fun picture...

But, this one is about my most powerful calling: my family...

What do you wish you reflected more upon


Anthony Campolo


If you went to my high school, his name might conjure up a bad image but I love his stuff. he uses the same analogies (largely from his own life) over and over and so what - they're great analogies (like throwing a birthdy party for a hooker he had just met)...

Anyway, one of his talks is based loosely on the three things people who live to be over 100 years old wish tey had done differently...

Risk, Reflect, and leave more of a legacy for when they are gone...


How do you do at those three things? I think I am good at the first, awful at the second, and consistently thinking about the third...

This picture is in honor of taking risks...

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Saving, redemption, or Psalm 8???



So, that is not me, but I did catch two fish like that one (and one small shark), fishing the other day off of Amelia Island in Florida. That large fish, a tarpon, does fight a lot and the second one (maybe a shade over 100 pounds) made me walk around the boat 12 times before he was tired enough for me to pull him in and pull out the hook.

I wonder why we like fishing and hunting so much? My guide is this strange mixture of environmentally conscious and not-so-much... It is probably an occupation thing, but Captain Jim will not kill a fish; but, he is an active deer hunter (although he only goes after very large bucks). Anyway, I was enjoying the fishing a lot, but I noticed that Captain Jim would always set the Tarpon right in the water to facilitate them swimming back down into the ocean (we didn't pull them on to the boat). This seemed very exciting, and with my second (and last) Tarpon, I asked him if I could cut the hook off and set the fish right so he wouldn't have trouble swimming back down. Captain Jim said, "You can do whatever you want!"

And that was the highlight of my afternoon. That, and not losing another finger to another rope! Seriously though, my favorite part was not the 45 minutes it took me to win the battle with my tarpon, but it was setting his top fin upright again and pushing him under the water to watch him swim away.

Psalm 8 is more cosmological than anything, but it refers to subduing the Earth. I wonder if we stop thinking too early, if we forget to be New Covenant Thinkers with a Scripture like that. Relative to Jesus shouldn't we subdue the Earth in order to set it free? Isn't the point of Jesus to redeem the whole world? Heaven is all well and good, but as I look at Scripture - and the deep places of my heart - I have a great desire for the New Heavens and the New Earth.

This is not personified in me pushing the Tarpon back under the water, but I do think it alludes to my heart desiring not to dominate this creature... I think that is mistaken, what I really want is to see the beginnings of redemption everywhere... Again, the analogy falls short quickly! but, as I was leaning over the boat, laying on the floor, pushing this massive fish under water... I juts wonder if we don't wrap up our theology too quickly in Heaven, saving folks, tithing, etc. A Cosmic redemption sounds much more exciting to me; much more like Good News.

But, enough about me... What do you think?